In preparation for the big day of L-O-V-E, I have been having fun looking at Valentine's Day cards from the past and present. Here are some of my favorites.
Old....
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And new...
While we're talking about love, I just started reading the book "The Love Dare" as featured in the movie Fireproof, and so far I think it is a very well written book. It's a quick read (only a few pages a day for 40 days... wait, can you consider that a quick read?) but I think following the author's daily "dare's" can definitely improve the quality of your marriage. It gently helps you to open your eyes and practice loving your spouse unconditionally.
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Day one was all about being patient. It is one of the two pillars that love is built on so I'd say it's a pretty important one, but not an easy characteristic to have. It is being able to control your emotions to be able to respond to a negative situation in a positive way. It's not rushing to a judgement (which I'm usually guilty of) but slowing down to listen to what the other person is saying and seeing the whole picture. It is also giving your spouse permission to be human. Understanding that everyone fails and choosing to give them more time then they deserve to correct their mistake. Patience gives you the ability to hold on during the rough times instead of bailing out under the pressure.
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So on day one of our challenge, our dare was to demonstrate patience and not say anything negative to each other at all. I'd say we did pretty good. It probably helped that I was busy with the kids all day and Josh came home from work with just enough time to shower, eat dinner, talk a little bit and head out to church for his leadership training.
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So does it still count if we only had maybe five conversations during the whole day? I'm going to count it anyway. I don't know where this book is going so we might be able to use all the points we can get.
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So today's challenge was the other pillar of love. Kindness.
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Be kind to one another, tender-hearted, forgiving each other, just as God in Christ also has forgiven you. ~Ephesians 4:32
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Kindness is creating blessings in the other persons life. It is fulfilling the four ingredients of kindness, which are gentleness, helpfulness, willingness and initiative.
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I must say that it's not always natural to plan ahead to do something unexpectedly kind for Josh. I feel like I'm always just trying to keep up with meeting the needs of being a wife and raising a family. I typically don't go searching for unexpected acts of kindness to surprise him with as often as I should. So today's dare was a little bit more challenging for me. In fact, I've yet to fulfill it.
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Do at least one unexpected gesture as an act of kindness in addition to saying nothing negative to your spouse today.
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Since Josh took my car to work to put on new tires, I thought in the little bit of spare time I had I would use it to clean out his truck for him. He always has loved a clean truck but now three kids later, that is a sight that he rarely gets to see.
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But then he unexpectedly stopped by the house earlier than I expected and took his truck back to work with him. Failed attempt!
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Now what? I'm searching for something out of the ordinary to do for him. Send him a sweet email? Maybe. I know he'd love it. But it's not out of the ordinary. Clean out his closet for him? It's surprisingly already clean. Clean out the garage for him? No thank you. Bake something for him? That's how I used to win my way into his heart, but ever since his dad told him he's getting fat, he's had a bit of a complex. So I wouldn't be helping him there.
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Hmm.
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Well I guess I'll have to keep searching but I guess getting off the computer would be a good place to start.
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Or... I may just have to wait until tonight to complete my task.
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Oh come on guys! What did you think I was talking about? Don't you ever give your hubbies relaxing massages? I know my man has never turned down a single one yet!
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Remember my friends. Patience and Kindness is the key!
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Sending my LOVE to you all!!!
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