I wrote this yesterday (Friday late afternoon) but waited to publish it because I wasn't really sure if I wanted everyone to read it or not. Then today, after waking up early and getting a good start on cleaning up the many messes we have around here, I started to feel a little bit better about this messy situation and thought, you know, I'm sure we all have moments like this (not nearly as bad as my house) but moments when we feel nearly buried alive by house work. I thought maybe if I do go ahead and post this, the pressure will be on for me to really get this house in order again and start fresh with a clean house. I know I've always worked good under pressure. I was always the student who waited until the last minute to do my science project, or I'm that person that waits until the last minute to prepare for Christmas, or other events that require preparation. Something about the thought of knowing that I have to do it now, really gets me motivated to do whatever it takes to get the job done. So here it goes, I'm laying it all out for you and the pressure is on for me to turn my house into some place that I truly enjoy being at.
{here is what I wrote yesterday as I was feeling very glum}
I don't want to deceive you all and make it look like I always have my life together so here it goes, the raw truth. I have laundry piled up to my ceilings, it may be clean, but it's wrinkled and unwearable as far as I'm concerned. There are dirty dishes piled high in the sink with most likely things growing on them that I wouldn't even be able to describe, toothpaste stuck to the counter tops, plants that are being deprived of water and a poor innocent Beta fish named Blue Skywalker living in scummy water in it's fish bowl. If you don't get the idea already, this is the part of my life that I'm not so proud of. This robs me of my smile at times and causes me to feel like I can't relax my body until I'm caught up and the house is at least slightly clean and organized. I despise the fact that I just can't always remain even mostly caught up on house work. I seem to go in stages of being semi caught up, at least to the point where I can relax and enjoy family time not thinking of the chores haunting me and lurking at me everywhere I turn, and stages of being so overwhelmed and behind with house work that I truly walk in circles feeling so overwhelmed and not knowing what to do first.
My house is a true reflection of just how busy we've been lately and the fact that almost no time has been put aside for these daunting tasks that have nearly taken over my life. On top of schooling, we have moved our shop after being in our last location for four years (this is a whole other story that I'll soon write about) and on top of that we are trying to complete a major overhaul on our RV. We bought this very old and very worn out RV for a price we couldn't turn down and we decided to pour the little bit of free time that we have into it along with many hours of hard labor to fix it up and hopefully create a means for our family to take some good quality family trips together, and not break the bank. So our first family vacation in the RV is planned for March 27th - 31st to Live Oak Florida for the Suwanee Spring Fest. It should be a ton of fun. We are going with some very good friends who have attended this annual event for many years now and also Brian, Kelly and the girls. So the pressure has been on for us to get it done so it can be "livable" for the 5 days we'll be in it. It really has been a lot of fun though and has been an easy distraction for the household chores that are screaming my name, but today as I got home from a full day of Olivet classes with the kids I slowly looked around and honestly couldn't believe that this was my house. I don't think I've seen it so disorderly in all my life. So, in case your wondering, please, no visitors for the next couple of days ; ) Josh is going to be busy up at the shop painting the exterior of the RV tomorrow so I'll be home trying to keep the kids busy while cleaning things that I don't hardly want to touch or smell and trying to make my house a home again. It feels like I was just dealing with this same issue last week, but wait a minute, I was! It's amazing how a house can become a disaster in such a small amount of time. I guess I need to keep praying for a maid to come and rescue me! The sad part is I would be too embarrassed to even have a maid come over right now. I'd seriously have to clean for the cleaning lady if that makes any sense. Last weekend, in the teenie bit of time that I had to put aside for housework, I devoted myself to cleaning the kids rooms from top to bottom. Including the blinds, fans, under the beds and all the nooks and crannies that rarely get cleaned. So as far as the rest of the house, it was neglected. To top it all off, Easter is nine days away and we haven't even decorated our house yet except for a few Easter crafts that the kids have made this year. Not like this is the end of the world or anything, but to me, this is a big deal and I feel slightly like a failure for not being on the ball with this ever so important holiday. It totally crept up on me this year and so now the pressure is on!
I always write about the happy times of our lives and the good things going on with us, but yes, we have many days where I'd like to just go to sleep and have another chance to start over again in the morning, and many, many, many moments where I wish I could click my glittery shoes together and the dishes would magically disappear, clothes would be folded and put away (unwrinkled so no ironing would be involved), and that my floor would be cleaned of all Lucy hair, Lego pieces and dried up green beans that Fletch threw off his plate and I somehow missed cleaning them up until they were nearly unrecognizable. I wish that we had a home that was always sparkling clean with floors that you could eat off of (okay, not really but you know what I mean). I wish that our free time could be spent relaxing and just enjoying each and every beautiful day that we're given with one another instead of doing house work. But in reality, that's not reality and I have to take the good with the bad and somehow make peace that this part of my life will never change and I'll still be dealing with the household chores as I'm old and gray but the one thing that WILL change is my children will be grown and moved on and I'll never have this moment to rewind our lives and spend this precious time with them. That's how I make it through days when I walk through the house with my eyes squinted so I don't have to be reminded of what needs to be done as we're doing science projects, math problems, or heading out to go on a field trip. Being a stay at home mom and devoting my time to care for, love and educate my children is something that I know I will never, ever, ever regret. I wouldn't trade this most precious gift for the most beautifully cleaned house in the world and so for now, the house work will continue to pile up and I'll keep treading through it trying to stay afloat but I'll know at the end of the day that I gave my children my all. My house will get dirty again and more clothes and dishes will need washing but the memories that we are making will last forever as will hopefully the impact that I'm making in their lives.
I really need to rely on God more to help me figure out a better routine to keep up with my chores so I don't get in these major jams like I'm in right now. I know there's hope out there for me because I look at so many other families who have more on their "plates" than I do, and I admire them for their ability to keep up. I'm sure that this is just another way that God is leading me to seek him more deeply in my needs because I truly know that in the past He is the one who made the impossible seem so possible and real to me and it is He who gave me the strength to do things I never dreamed I'd be able to do, not in a million years. Homebirthing, Homeschooling... okay God, I'm throwing one more "H" prayer out there for you. Housework! God has been so good to me and has revealed himself in so many ways and I have such peace knowing that I can do all things through Him. When people look at me and say "How do you do it?" I really honestly don't feel like I deserve any of the credit because I know, deep down in the core of my soul, that if it was up to me to do this all alone, I absolutely couldn't do it. There is no possible way. No way at all. And that is why I give God so much thanks and praise because He is the light in my life that guides me on each and every journey that I take. And it is because of Him, that I get to spend my days with my children and see them grow and learn and help shape their character and heart to be a loving child of God.
{Here are some quotes on house keeping that I really thought were fitting and helped me feel better about my problem : ) }
Cleaning your house while your kids are still growing is like shoveling the walk before it stops snowing. ~Phyllis Diller, Phyllis Diller's Housekeeping Hints, 1966
If the shelves are dusty and the pots don't shine,it's because I have better things to do with my time. ~Author Unknown
A clean house is the sign of a boring person. ~ Author Unknown
I hate housework. You make the beds, you wash the dishes and six months later you have to start all over again. ~ Joan Rivers
